New Language

First things first: the very happiest of birthdays to the best mom ever, mine! 

I love you, Mom!

Wish I could give you a present: 

Speaking of moms, lately my mother-in-law has been studying French. I've been to Paris once and I had a wonderful time, but it was thanks to my friend's friend, a native speaker. French is wonderful and beautiful, yet full of vowels and nasal inflections my face isn't trained for. So I admire her efforts. Though today is not my mother-in-law's birthday, but my mom's, because the latter is an ocean away (sniff!!) and the former needs encouragement, my daughters and I presented this: 

Tres bien, no? (Is that French or Spanish, struggling with the facts) 

Bonne Nuit!

New International Relations

This afternoon there was a special program for the 5th graders at Koji's school, which includes Koji. 

The group that put on the event didn't have enough people from other countries, so they asked me to join. 

It was a flashback to those good old JET Programme days, where I became a complete expert at flashing pictures of myself, my parents, Oregon and my hobbies. 

Fortunately, there was much more on the docket than my blathering. The lady wearing a yellow dress in the above photo is second generation Japanese-Paraguayan. The dress she has on is crocheted by hand and took more than a year to make. In my ignorance of Paraguay, I assumed Spanish is the main language. I wasn't completely mistaken. According to Wikipedia, 

"The Republic of Paraguay is a mostly bilingual country, where both Spanish, an Indo-European language, and Guaraní, an indigenous language of the Tupian family, have official status.^[1]"

This lady counted to 10 in Guarani, and the sound of it was compelling. Compared to English and Japanese, it sounded so..... Foreign. 

Here's a list of the numbers 1-10 in Guarani:

http://www.native-languages.org/numbers/guarani_numbers.htm

I have more to say but I'll have to add it later, Friday night is overcoming me~~

New (to me) Day for Memory of Loss

Yesterday was Pregancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 

We still miss them. 

The one we hoped to welcome in April 2005. 

July 2005. 

May 2008. 

October 2011. 

Koji was our first baby and we had no incidents with him (other than unplanned C-section, which is its own source of grief).

Then, our first (lost) baby was 10 weeks old. Though we hadn't as much time to imagine life with her (I don't know, just choosing to think of this one as a girl), in some ways this was our most terrible loss. It opened up a dark box full of the knowledge-not just a suspicion but a definite knowing-that babies die, not every pregnancy comes to fruition. Utterly unwillingly, we joined the Miscarriage Club. Please don't think me crass. It's just, after this experience, I was astounded to find so many others who had also lost their baby, and I didn't feel quite so alone. 

Second baby was 16-17 weeks old. He was given to us so soon after his sister was taken, I hardly knew how to feel. I confess though I believe God, I sustained myself with logic: "we just lost one so this one will be fine, he has to be". Or not. 

Thank God, then we had Izumi. Fountain (of Life), how could we name her otherwise when we were so relieved she was Alive?

Our third baby was 20 weeks old. I've mentioned her here before. Her name is Ai, which means Love in Japanese. 

Then we were given Misaki, which means a Heart in Bloom. Her life seemed to signal a spring, the end of the winter we had been in since Ai. 

But then,  our fourth baby was 15 weeks old. He was "born" in Rome, so we'll always feel a connection deeper and stronger and sadder than might have been forged on a different 10th anniversary trip. Perhaps because the memory of him is stronger, perhaps because I so wanted a brother for Koji (though again, I don't actually know for sure he was), when I think of them all I now, I long for them but my heart longs for him particularly. 

Life is full of loss, and God brings life from all kinds of death over and over and over again, praise Him. But these, I cannot explain or leave, I just carry them with me and pray their memory will encourage me to treasure my living children more? 

I tend to be about fun (see ENFP and Enneagram Type 7) so I don't approach this place often, but I think it's important so I'm talking about it here. 

Have you lost a pregnancy or a baby? If you are willing, please tell me about your experience.  

New Potterheads

Since the beginning of September, Koji and I have read (and listened to audio tapes and by that, I mean cassette tapes, remember those?) through

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

After finishing each book, his (our) reward is renting and watching the corresponding movie. We watched HP and the Goblet of Fire yesterday. 

So naturally, today we read two chapters of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This one will likely be a little tougher (on my throat) and take a little longer, since we don't have a good source for the audio version. Really wish we did! I might be just a little obsessed ...... Addicted..... ?!!

By the way, this is not my first time through HP..... Have you ever read this series?

New Shoes Soup

Every weekend the kids bring home their school shoes to be washed. 

For awhile, it was a Friday night activity, because otherwise the shoes wouldn't get dry in time for Monday morning. 

But 11 months ago at a city street festival, Izumi won this shoe dryer: 

Shoes dry in an hour or so, instead of over a whole day and half the night. 

However, time saving devices can be enabling for procrastinators. 

That's why you find me frantically scrubbing shoes at 10:53 pm.... 

On the end of a three day weekend, no less! 

As they say in Mexico, buenos noches, amigos!

New Restaurant

There's a TV show we like called  Cambrian Palace. 

It's an interview show and the interviewees are successful business people (mostly men, unfortunately). Recently they featured the founder and president of an inexpensive ramen and gyoza restaurant chain, Hidakaya.  I had been there before and wasn't that impressed. It seemed like typical, cheap, but at-least-by-the-station greasy fare. 

There we are, with a bunch of huge gyoza growing out of the side of my head. 

Anyway, I might be a sucker for marketing? The old guy president of Hidakaya was very compelling in his appearance on Cambrian Palace. Though he owns this multi-million yen restaurant chain, he rides the train everywhere rather than hiring a car. He also talked about his employees being his greatest asset. 

So when the girls suggested we go there today, I was OK with it! 

New Pencils

Just for kicks, perhaps also for a check, I proctored the SAT today. 

Photo of pencils, taken with iPhone 5C in my kitchen after I wasted 20 minutes googling
"free stock photo of pencils" and couldn't figure out how to load one for free
Stunning, isn't it?

Maybe it's just in my blood, proctoring. 

After all, Proctor, Oklahoma is named after my maternal grandma's family. For real. 

My first proctoring experience was last year shortly after we had arrived here. I was asked to proctor some AP tests. I tried it and found I quite enjoyed it, for several reasons: 

Initially, I confess I liked it for the free wifi access in the test room (when we didn't have any internet access at home, the horror!). 

Then, I liked it for the feeling of accomplishment the students emanated when tests were over. 

Also, I liked the structure built into the tests, 35 minutes for this section and 40 minutes for that, now you can take a 10 minute break but come back on time! etc. If you are a person who excels at creating structure for your life on your own, then you may be baffled right now. Try to understand all the shiny things luring me and my attention, all day every day, pulling me from my good intentions and utterly destroying any ability I may have to make a schedule and stick to it. Not for every minute every day, of course, but some amount of externally imposed structure is a wonderful gift for me. Following?

So, this time I was asked to proctor the SAT. I agreed very casually and so was in for a shock this morning when I walked in and felt a different sort of atmosphere. So serious. So monitored. Well, I don't actually want to say much about it, because it was so monitored I am probably not supposed to talk about it.....

The pencils were the thing! The instructions went on and on about please use a 2B pencil and if you don't then your mother might slip on a banana peel and crack her head open, I mean, you might get a big fat zero on this here test. 

Except. This is Japan, and some of the students seemed to have flown in from other Asian countries (!) for the test, in other words, we are not in the United States and 2B pencils are not a thing. So the poor students were so anxious, what if I have a pencil that says HB?! on it, OH NOOOOOOOO

Fortunately, what the SAT higher-ups are really trying to say, I think, is that they don't want students using mechanical pencils (conveniently called "sharp pencils" here, just to make things crystal clear). Also, the lovely lady who is a pro at giving these tests and drafted me for proctoring....without even KNOWING how it's in my blood, what?!.... is prepared for just these moments of alarm. She had assembled a mass quantity of impeccably sharpened 2B pencils, just for a moment like this. 

Palpable relief, people, I mean, PHEW. 

We passed around big handfuls of proper pencils and the crisis was averted. And forty some relieved students are resting peacefully tonight. I hope. 

Wan an~~

New Chocolate but Only this Once

For no particular reason....

No, for a very good reason whose name is "Friday," today I brought out this chocolate from Jess. 

She designed the wrapper. The contents are almost as good as her design. I might be a little bit partial to my friend. 

It was delicious and best of all, I left some for tomorrow, too.

Thanks, Jess~~

That's all I got today, folks, see what I said up top about Friday! 

New Lunar with Grainy Photos

Koji's teacher sent home a sheet yesterday saying the lunar eclipse would be ON at 7:55 pm. So at 7:38 we trooped out for a moon-watching stroll. Witness the below spectacular iPhone photo evidence. 

Stunning, isn't it? My photos are horrid but the moon was amazingly beautiful! Too bad a peaceful walk with three kids who should be in bed is an oxymoron. Peace sheesh. 

See that teeny bright dot in the middle of the photo? Absolutely stunning! Did you know if you missed this one, you may have another chance next year? Look at this page to see the schedule. The next one in about a year from now will not be visible from Japan so I truly am glad we went out walking last night. Really. Truly. Let me leave you with these better words: 

Psalm 8 English Standard Version (ESV)

O Lord, our Lord,

    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory above the heavens.

2 

    Out of the mouth of babies and infants,

you have established strength because of your foes,

    to still the enemy and the avenger.

3 

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,

    the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

4 

what is man that you are mindful of him,

    and the son of man that you care for him?

5 

Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings[b]

    and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 

You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;

    you have put all things under his feet,

7 

all sheep and oxen,

    and also the beasts of the field,

8 

the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea,

    whatever passes along the paths of the seas.

9 

O Lord, our Lord,

    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

from Bible Gateway

WIWW--New Mirror

With gratitude to the friend who expressed interest in my thoughts and feelings, here's a warning: 

They may not come out much today!

Because after a very long hiatus *drumroll*

What I Wore Wednesday is back!

No more oval mirror. Yes, I miss it, and feel a little silly that I do. No more iPhone 3. Don't miss that.... 

This mirror, it must seem somewhat familiar, in this sense: it's from IKEA (excluding oval mirror, which was somehow a possession of Aogu's from his bachelor days, most of our furnishings have come from there). And, as was usual with oval mirror, this one needs to be cleaned. 

Anyway, on to the clothes. Now that I'm a kindergarten teacher, I would love to dress like Cassie Stephens. Not a joke! I just found her blog recently but in a short time I've become a big fan! 

Alas, there are four others in the house who need to wear clothes too. So I will be spunky or overly matchy or brightly colored, maybe not as much as Cassie, but at least as much as that perpetually towering laundry pile will let me. 

Here I have a burgundy? maroon? tunic (hate that word) like dress from the local second hand store with a long enduring knit cardigan from Uniqlo and a tulle skirt from Target. Socks I bought here, but you knew that, right?

Best picture here, thanks to this cute photobomber! 

It's unfortunate I didn't get a proper shot of my shirt because it says FLY TO THE BIG BLUE SKY IN HOPE or some such gibberish. Safety pin skirt from Target via my old faithful supplier, Salvation Army on Dempster in Niles.

Hoodie (hate that word too, it's a wonder I can talk about clothes at all) recently from Uniqlo, dress and skirt are old but peep top socks are newer and locally procured. 

Japanese chrysanthemum print trousers (that's right, don't care for that other word either, don't you know "pants" means underwear in the UK?!) from the beloved SA, long Tshirt from here and hoodie (*shudder*) from Target. On this day, my students kindly informed me that they don't like my glasses! 

"Local" outfit: dress from Titcaca, a fair trade store, leggings from Uniqlo and shirt from Seiyu, which is owned by WalMart....

Flower tunic (ugh, I better get over it or think of a new word) for F day in kindergarten, (leopard? cheetah? What's the difference) skirt, pretty sure from SA, knit cardigan from GU. Getting the cardi for 790 yen doesn't seem like such a great bargain now that it's falling apart after just a few wears. 

Can't think of if or when I've ever worn a vest before, this one was a gift from my MIL and ended up working out well over this dress from "SeiMart" or "WalYu" (what should I call WalMart owned Seiyu?). 

Zzzxxx, sorry to be abrupt but I have to hit the hay (literally, we have a tatami bed). 

Buenos noches!

New TV

So to recap, on April 1, 2013 (no joke!), we moved from our home of 12 years in Skokie, Illinois, back to our childhood stomping grounds in the Northwest Suburbs of Tokyo. 

Sidenote-- it is interesting, our current location is to the north and west of downtown Tokyo as our former north-and-westness was to downtown Chicago. My brain can't stop making connections and comparisons, though I try to stop it (see: overconsumption of sugar).

For our first six weeks here, we stayed with my parents-in-law at their apartment. Their willingness was pure grace. And I'm fairly sure we nearly drove them crazy. Therefore after 42 days had passed, we urgently needed our own space and so moved into an identical place below theirs. Which "happened" to be open. My mother in law had been keeping it open with her prayers for a year. Sounds strange, pretty sure it's true. 

So. Having come here with 27 boxes of possessions, there were many things North Americans and also Japanese folks usually own we did not. I will not bore you and depress me with a complete list of things-we-used-to-have-but-now-don't. I will say one of the things in that category was a TV. 

Out of more graciousness and generosity, the in-laws gave us a TV. It was not flat screen or plasmastic or bendy or all the things the very latest TVs have. In fact, it came with a convenient attached VCR. Please laugh. But know, the TV was fabulous and a lifesaver for our first year here and beyond. We even deliberately bought a few VHS tapes for the kids.... who does that?!

Getting to the point, several weeks ago, we got a new TV, pictured above. Please focus only on the TV, not on the laundry or my questionable front teeth. With VERY mixed feelings, I allowed the TV to be placed in our bedroom!! I have never allowed TV in our room before. Which is ridiculous, because in the meantime all manner of other glowing screens were AOK, even if not made by Apple. (gasp) Consistency is not my forte. 

Now the kids have a tendency to gather in our room when they want to watch something. I thought I wouldn't like that, but as our room is "all the way" (meaning 10-12 strides) on the other side of the apartment, it actually provides me a bit of respite. They do that and I stay on this side of the place doing stuff. I guess it's mostly housework but it sometimes can feel less drudgerish if people aren't shrieking while it's happening. 

Wow. My so-called processing is meandering hither and thither and all the way to yawn (get it?!!) without nearing that elusive destination, The Point. Hm. Warp Drive: maybe the point is this, I've been reluctant to admit it, but time, as God uses it to do so, is indeed a healer and a changer too. Look at us now, this is not what I imagined or expected, but I am thankful for it. Truly. 

Also, maybe some things just don't have a point. Or maybe we aren't meant to see the point now. Or maybe the point is too sharp. Speculation is my forte. 

PS I better put some links in here. 

The Poop Process  sounds disgusting but is not truly about poop and actually contains a thought that compelled me to take this blog thing up again. 

Because I'll probably take many more days to "find my voice" and "tell my story" and "say what I mean" (go ahead and picture Chris Farrell and air quotes), I would like to please say an amen to Upside Down Success. 

I'm increasingly persuaded of the importance of art in every life, and this story of a man who used his typewriter to create is inspiring!

Good night.

New Typhoon Day

All day yesterday and through this morning, Typhoon Phanfone was in the neighborhood. School or no school is always the question when typhoons visit the area. Koji and Izumi go to one elementary school, Misaki goes to another kindergarten and I work at a third school. What if Misaki's school was cancelled but the kids and I had to go?...is one scenario I can't help worrying about. 

 Fortunately, school was called off for all of us today. Koji wasn't doing well after using all of his power and then some at Sports Day on Saturday anyway. So, an unexpected day off for most of us (Aogu sloshed off to work at the usual time) was a gift. 

So while I was lounging this morning, looking at my blog feed, I saw a friend's post that mentioned "Typhoon Donuts" and said she might be making them today. I've been reading this blog for a long time, so I actually sort of remembered the last time she talked about these. I was shocked to click through the link and discover that was four years ago! 

Having no other plan for breakfast, and actually having time, I decided to give them a try. It's hard to tell in the above photo, but the "sauce" (we like to call everything you can put on top of something else sauce, as in, "want some sauce on your salad?") is a mixture of cinnamon, sugar, coconut oil and vanilla. The instructions are to bake the donuts and then roll them in this mixture and serve warm. 

Koji and Izumi said they were good, but were satisfied with one each and then said they were too sweet. Misaki and I were up for seconds; in an attempt to show/teach restraint, I gave her another half. And then I ate another one when she wasn't looking. I am a horrible parent and I need to quit sugar. 

The wind and rain were heavy all morning but I actually ventured out pre-donuts to the nearest supermarket. If one arrives at nine right when they open, one, that is me, can grab yesterday's ground beef for half off. Hooray! I grabbed five packs today. Don't think me greedy, though. The packs are small, so five of them don't add up to three pounds!

Around noon, the wind and rain was gone and the sun came out! I would have liked to take us out to use up extra energy (sure enough, it took the kids forever to go to sleep tonight...) but Koji's condition didn't allow it, so we stayed in and cleaned up, just like every monday. 

How was your Typhoon Day? 

31 Days of New Life

At the end of last month, I started seeing a "31 Days of...." theme going around.
The idea is to post every day in October around a theme. I think. I'm too lazy to research what it really is. I figured it out! It's hosted by the Nesting Place blog.



By Skotkin (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons 

Also, today is October 5th, not the first, so I will likely not get in 31 posts.
However, I want to write! In recent months, I've enjoyed reading Allison Vesterfelt's blog.
And I've just put her book Packing Light into my Book Depository cart.
Recently, she was promoting a writing video course she made, and some of the things she said about writing struck me (disclaimer: I didn't sign up for the course, though it sounds helpful and interesting). Like this:

"...nothing has helped me uncover and recover myself like writing.
Writing is incredibly healing. It is beautifully calming. It can help us find our way home." 

It's been 18 months and three days since we moved to Tokyo from Skokie, Illinois, and for most of these months, I've been silent in terms of writing. Seems likely my suffering has been prolonged as a result. I've been telling myself I needed to talk things over with a person to process this amazingly difficult change properly. I still think that helps-I've been given several sweet friends to talk with, so I suppose I don't think, I know! I also know the prayers I've been messily flinging in the general direction of God have been heard. Things, or more likely -I myself- am different. BUT IF ONLY I HAD BEEN WRITING.

So in the spirit of better late than never, I'm going to write again. I'm going to use this space and this month to talk about new life: my new life here, the new life of our family, the new life we have in God when we believe Him and perhaps other things altogether.

I might even have to post the outfit pictures a few of you have asked for....
Please come along!

Day 2: New Typhoon Day
Day 3: New TV
Day 4: New Mirror
Day 5: New Lunar
Day 6: New Chocolate, But Only This Once
Day 7: New Pencils
Day 8: New Restaurant
Day 9: New Shoes Soup
Day 10: New Potterheads
Day 11: WIWW, Getting Chilly Edition
Day 12: New Day for Memory of Loss
Day 13: New International Relations
Day 14: New Language
Day 15: New and Old Too: Kindy Sports Day
Day 16: Zoo Birthday Party
Day 17: WIWW (What I Wore Wednesday)
Day 18: New Throwback Thursday
Day 19: Funny Faces Friday
Day 20: New Angle
Day 21: New Game
Day 22: New Non-Negative No
Day 23: WIWW, Black and White and Blue
Day 24: New Conference

One Year a Tokyoite

We have seen God's goodness and it is this: He has sustained us through the turmoil, tears, lows and also amazing beauty of our first year in Tokyo. 

May we know Him, love Him and serve Him even more in our second year. 

Four on Four Four

April (Four) Fourth

Baby's last day to be four

Sleeping in big brother's bed as his pre-birthday gift to her

She is a wonderful, amazing gift to us!

Last Day of First Grade

There's a time stamp on this post somewhere, but for posterity:

It's Monday, March 24, 2014, 8:02 am and Izumi is off to her last day of first grade. I'm feeling all those motherly emotions-- "where did the time go?" "what happened to my baby?" etc. 

A year ago today, we were frantically packing our house in Skokie, IL for our impending move here.  Seems like yesterday and a hundred years ago.  

Koji isn't attending his last day of fourth grade. He's at a soccer camp in Okutama. I had no trouble allowing him to miss school today.  Is it really school when the kids get ready, march over there, have a ceremony that indicates school is over for this year, and then come right back home?  I'm trying to get over being offended by this schedule, but looks like I'm not over it yet.