Sunday, November 09, 2014

Resolved: Don't Be So Serious

The other night we were at a friends' house, and as the adult-kid ratio was not in our favor, my friend had the clever idea to have the kids do a "show". And here you see some sample photos of the "shows". 

Did you see what that was about? The perfectly memorized lines, the choreography, the chemistry between the actors? Me, either. What I did see was, the kids had a great time! They didn't care (much) that their show was unrehearsed and imperfect. They enjoyed (mostly, full disclosure is, I think there were a couple of fights, but no one suffered actual bodily injury in the making of these shows) the process they had and the results they came up with. Now we will remember for quite awhile, "that time you guys did that show". 

So I want to learn to take it easy. Really, I'm already relatively good at that, but because I like to drive myself crazy*, hear me out, please. At some point on most days, I take my process too seriously. Of course I want and need to work hard and focus, of course I want to do my best. But often when I am trying to proceed to a result, I don't allow myself awareness, let alone enjoyment of the process. Because, I am trying to proceed to a result. Which I have decided to believe is more important than having fun getting there. 

And this is kind of killing me with my kids. Because I'm also a pro at "compound thinking," (bedtime is at 8 so we better eat at 6 and then I guess the kids can have screen time but it absolutely has to be done at 7, after all they need to take a shower and get ready for bed and get their bags ready for school.....etc) and my compounding is based on perfect math, that is, there is no room for error which means, no comedy either. 

I don't want to become all loosey-goosey, because really, I already struggle with that too. Speaking of struggling, I read about "struggles only ENFPs" will understand the other day and I can't stop thinking about it:
Though ENFPs loves being around people, they crave alone time much more than the average extrovert. ENFPs search for a deeper meaning in just about everything, and use their much-coveted alone time to decide how their experiences fit in with their system of core values. *To be frank, it’s an exhausting personality to have (asterisk inserted by me). 

Intentionally or not, today was better. If you were with the poster child for cotton candy, wouldn't your day be better, too? Seriously. 
PS. these words are unedited! I hope they make some sense, but if not, I'm sorry. Click on the link above and read about ENFP, at least. ENFP or no, do you struggle with any of these things? I'd like to know!


Wendy said...

Jamie, you could be talking about me, that paragraph about what time things should happen! And yes, I'm an ENFP too.

BTW I hate those concerts. Sorry. Probably good I don't have girls...

Jamie Matsuoka said...

Wendy, you're kidding! I thought you were an introvert? Maybe I made that up....
I don't like those concerts much but kids entertaining themselves (they spent almost an hour trying to figure out the show, then we spent five minutes watching it) is always priceless, don't you think?